Where it all begins... Tuesday Morning, Oct. 11

What a joy it has been to sit in my familiar seat at home enjoying the Lord over a good cup of coffee this morning. I rose early as was my routine before this all began and have had some time to pause and consider, or Selah, as the Psalms would describe it. Thinking back, I reflected over all of the blessings of God's nearness in the midst of all that we have faced these past 4 1/2 days.

Coming into this, I know, because I see it in God's word and in mine and the lives of others, that God's nearness doesn't change. He was always there. His omnipresence is the deliverance that I have experienced. However, I find myself asking why is it that I was able to experience it when so many in crisis miss out on this blessing? Am I something special? Do I have an insight track on the presence of God because I am "a pastor?" I don't think so.

As I looked at Psalm 34 again this morning, I may have found my answer. David wrote this Psalm when his world was crashing around him. He had been anointed as King of Israel, but Saul had gone crazy and was trying to kill him. He escapes to Philistia and had to pretend to be nuts before this king that he had conquered not long before.

So, how did David experience this peace and omnipresence of the Lord? I think the answer is in the first part of the verse that the Lord first drew me to, verse 4,

I sought the LORD, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.

David sought the LORD. That required the mindset that he couldn't face his trial alone. In a time when human achievement and self-reliance are idolized, if we rely only on our own strength we will never experience it. I had to face my own inadequacy. My circumstances were WAY beyond my control. I have to begin there. I have to begin with the knowledge that "YOU are God and I AM NOT."

The second thing is that you have to be satisfied with the presence of God. Yes, I wanted relief and to know that my wife and new son would be ok. But as I drove to Burlington the first time following the ambulance, I prayed and gave my son back to the Lord. I prayed, "Lord you know my heart and how deeply I wanted a son, but I want you more. I will submit to Your will." I can tell you as I cried out to God, that was the hardest prayer to pray. But God has heard and answered my prayer and delivered me from my fears.

All of my kids and my wife and everything I have belongs to God and they are on loan me. As Corrie Ten Boom said, we must hold loosely to the things in our life so that when God asks for them He doesn't have to pry our fingers open. Thank you Lord for Your faithfulness... even when I am not.

I spoke with Jill last night and she got to actually nurse Timothy. That was such a special time for her. Thank you again for your prayers. We look forward to the amazing things that God will do again today. Keep praying the journey is not over. Seek the Lord with me today.