Timothy James

Timothy James

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Second Time Around

It seems a distant memory now the cool October morning two years ago today when Timothy first showed his face into our lives.  As I sit here this early morning, I hear my son stirring in the other room.  He is struggling now with his two year molars coming in.  He has not teethed well these last two years.  With this struggle comes much whining and complaining.  He is proving daily more and more that he is my son.  For like his father, when pressure and pain is introduced into his life, he does not stop and reflect the great pleasures that will come with a mouth full of teeth.  He has not been pleasant to live with as he makes sure all of us know he is in pain.  But the industrial lubricant that drips from his lips and is tracked everywhere in the house serves as a constant reminder of good things to come but that are not yet.

I cannot help but think of how often when I am challenged with pain and discomfort my gaze is not fixed on the long term benefit that suffering brings.  Instead, my focus are prayers that God would make it stop because I have not yet learned the lesson of suffering.  I have not yet learned to say with my ancient brother James that I consider it pure joy when I suffer various trials. (cf. James 1:2)  I have not come to the place where, knowing the goodness of my Father's heart, my first response is to look toward the steadfastness that comes as a result of suffering.

I think it was Corrie Ten Boon that, in her old age, when experiencing pain got to the point of praying, "Father, please don't let me waste this suffering!"  She understood, more than most, the value of pain in life and the growth that it brings.  A dear friend of mine who struggled with chronic back pain once told me that pain and suffering will either make you better or bitter.  Far too often, the latter is my first response.  But thankful, my patient Father lovingly teaches me that just as His only Son endured unfathomable suffering, he did so for the benefit of my fellowship with my heavenly Father.

So, as I consider the future turmoil in these uncertain days which will no doubt bring much pain and challenge, my prayer this morning  for my son's second birthday is that I may teach him to suffer well and that will do this by example...

"Thank you Father for the blessing of another year with my son.  May he grow to trust you by the trust he sees in me when you bring hard times into my life."

Happy Second Birthday Timo, my little big man!