You hurt my feelings yesterday...

It wasn't permanent.  You'd soon be five and you really didn't understand how or why you did it, but it still stung.  Your mother was having a friend over for lunch yesterday, and I wanted to bless you both by giving her some needed uninterrupted mommy time and getting alone with you.  So, I made time in my schedule to take you to lunch while I was running an errand.  I was just going to stop by Lowe's to pick something up, and when I announced my intentions, you withdrew from me and wanted to stay home with your mommy.  You thought we were going grocery shopping, which you hate.  You just misunderstood me.

My schedule is always full, but I try to be intentional about spending alone time with each of you.  When we do, there is seldom pomp and circumstance, nothing fancy, no weekend trips in the mountains to hunt and fish.  It's usually ordinary and mundane.  Not every time we get together there has to be something significant to do, sometimes it's the simple things.  "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  That's what Deuteronomy 6:7 says.  I was walking "by the way" and had an opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with my son over a bean burrito... your favorite!  But you didn't want to come, and it hurt my feelings.

I have learned that sometimes your children will hurt you.  It is inevitable.  The same way that I know it is inevitable that I will hurt my kids.  This has not been our first go round in wounding each other.  Did I cancel your birthday celebration?  Did I ground you to your room for a week?  No.  When I got home, I put your birthday present together.  That is called "grace," getting what you did not earn.  You wounded me and I loved you in return.  While I do not alway model it in perfectly, I want you to know of God's grace that he demonstrated to each of us by demonstrating it to you.  Today, is your fifth birthday, and you are getting a basketball hoop!  It's something you have wanted for a while, and today you will get it.  I look forward to many hours as a family playing together.

Timothy, I pray for you regularly that you would one day understand that, even though we often misunderstand God's plans for us and wound Him with our sinful attitude and heart, He still longs to lavish His love on us and spend time one-on-one with us.  I pray that you will know and Jesus had to died a cruel death on a cross to make that possible.  I pray that one day soon, you will receive the free gift God has for you.  I believe when He saved you five years ago, he set you apart for something special... for His Glory.  Until that day, I forgive you son.  I love you.  Happy Birthday.