A Blessing from the Lord

This time about four years ago, I was pastoring in a small church in the mission field of Vermont.  We had been preparing to welcome our 3^rd child into our family and into the world.  As is the custom, we had received a series of gifts and cards congratulating us on our new addition.  One such card came from a friend and local pastor.  The outside of the card in all of its piety declared, “Children are a blessing from the Lord…” (cf. Psalm 127:3)

 

How appropriate an exhortation from a brother in Christ!  Only, when I opened that card the inside caption continued “…remember that at 3am!”  Since Tim would be our third, I knew full well what that meant… or at least I thought I did!

As most of you know, (if not, you can read in the previous posts of this now annual blog) shortly after receiving that card, we made a late night trip to the hospital that would begin one of the most challenging weeks of my life. 

Today, Timothy is four, happy and healthy.  Because he is a boy, he is ever so different from his older sisters.  He is head-strong, physical and active.  As such, he has tested our patience exponentially more and his character is much more resistant to guidance.  In those moments, I forget the years before when we almost lost him and his momma.  We forget that he is still a blessing from the Lord.  Instead, I long for the blessing of obedience and compliance and a more frequent lower volume.  I see that God has wired him for leadership, but first he must learn to follow and frankly he doesn’t want to follow.  He wants to be in charge.

Timothy, my prayers for you this year is that you would have a daddy that will be constantly reminded that in the midst of the of the frustrating battle of wills, I will remember that God blessed us with you, and that I will be a blessing to you.  Thank you Father for yet another year with my son.

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thes. 5:18 (ESV)

Three Years and Counting!

This morning around 6am, I was finishing up my quiet time. Jill by this time has joined me and in walks my oldest. Still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she asks Jill, "Do you remember what you were doing three years ago?"  That insightful question immediately transported both of us back to Barre, Vermont just an hour past having just broken a record for the world fastest labor and delivery.

We had no idea was in store for us the coming days, we were exhausted, Jill was finally able to get a few winks of sleep and I was cradling my new son in my arms. As with all of my children, by this time I had already changed his first diaper... the black tar one!  I am running through my head all the things I longed to do with him that I never got to do with my dad. (play ball, build with blocks, go fishing, etc.) but more than anything I longed for the day when I would start teaching Him about Jesus.

My dream for him was not that he would be rich and famous or any of that stuff for which the world clamors, rather that he would be a man of God... that he would love his wife as Christ loved the church... that he would be a disciple-maker.  Each one of my children have thus far lived up to their name-sake.  Tim's name means, "honoring/glorifying God." I continue to pray that he would live up to his name sake.  It is my job as his father to teach him about Christ.  To model for him what a godly man strives for, both in my successes and failures.  The weight of the responsibility that I carry as my kids' dad is heavy, but I know only by His strength I will finish this race.

Timothy my prayer for you is that one day you will get to read this blog and look back on from where you came and give glory to God.  That He would mark your heart as His own, and you would one day, through the trials and testings that each year brings, grow in the wisdom and stature of the Lord. This morning out family devotion was very fitting and it is the verse I give to you today, "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen." - 2 Peter 3:18

Happy Third Birthday Timo!
Your Daddy loves you so much!

Second Time Around

It seems a distant memory now the cool October morning two years ago today when Timothy first showed his face into our lives.  As I sit here this early morning, I hear my son stirring in the other room.  He is struggling now with his two year molars coming in.  He has not teethed well these last two years.  With this struggle comes much whining and complaining.  He is proving daily more and more that he is my son.  For like his father, when pressure and pain is introduced into his life, he does not stop and reflect the great pleasures that will come with a mouth full of teeth.  He has not been pleasant to live with as he makes sure all of us know he is in pain.  But the industrial lubricant that drips from his lips and is tracked everywhere in the house serves as a constant reminder of good things to come but that are not yet.

I cannot help but think of how often when I am challenged with pain and discomfort my gaze is not fixed on the long term benefit that suffering brings.  Instead, my focus are prayers that God would make it stop because I have not yet learned the lesson of suffering.  I have not yet learned to say with my ancient brother James that I consider it pure joy when I suffer various trials. (cf. James 1:2)  I have not come to the place where, knowing the goodness of my Father's heart, my first response is to look toward the steadfastness that comes as a result of suffering.

I think it was Corrie Ten Boon that, in her old age, when experiencing pain got to the point of praying, "Father, please don't let me waste this suffering!"  She understood, more than most, the value of pain in life and the growth that it brings.  A dear friend of mine who struggled with chronic back pain once told me that pain and suffering will either make you better or bitter.  Far too often, the latter is my first response.  But thankful, my patient Father lovingly teaches me that just as His only Son endured unfathomable suffering, he did so for the benefit of my fellowship with my heavenly Father.

So, as I consider the future turmoil in these uncertain days which will no doubt bring much pain and challenge, my prayer this morning  for my son's second birthday is that I may teach him to suffer well and that will do this by example...

"Thank you Father for the blessing of another year with my son.  May he grow to trust you by the trust he sees in me when you bring hard times into my life."

Happy Second Birthday Timo, my little big man!

Happy Birthday, Little-Big Man!

It is hard to believe that one year ago today, we started a harrowing journey and test of our faith.  About this time one year ago, Timothy popped out in his own time and said howdy to the world.  He is now big and healthy.

We were going to change his name to "paper weight," but have decided that "snail" seems to fit better given the slime-trail of drool he leaves behind him wherever he goes.  He is not-so-little anymore.  What started out as an underweight boy struggling for life, is now a healthy, strapping big boy a little ahead of the curve.

This year has shown us why birthin' babies is for the young.  I praise God for the wisdom and perspective that comes from being an older than most father, but I sure wish I had the stamina that I did only a few years ago.  Timothy has stretched us mentally and physically and we stay in the land of weariness most of the time.

He is very different from his sisters.  Even from birth, I could tell he was all boy: louder, more active, tougher, more head-strong and demanding.  And over the past year, I have caught myself getting frustrated, as most parents do, with my little-big man who is not so little any more.   The Holy Spirit reminds me of what different direction things could have taken.  God has blessed us with one full year to enjoy with Timothy.  When so many on birthdays grieve that their precious ones are in the arms of the Father and must wait to see them.

Today I will glorify my God and Savior.  His gift of my son has changed my life for the better.  Even when there have been, and will be, days that I was not quick to count my blessings.  I pray that you will join me in doing so as well.  I looked back and read my blog this morning as well as Psalm 34 that carried me through one of the hardest weeks of my life.  In the light of the weeks to come with many challenges and new tests of faith in light of our upcoming move back to Texas, here is the verse God gave me today.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
(Psalm 34:19 ESV)

You've come a long way baby!

This week marks 8 weeks since Timothy was born. His body was frail and weak. He was on medication to help him overcome infection that could have taken his life.

The past weeks have been filled with adjustment. Adjustment to lack of sleep for us due to nighttime feedings. Adjustment for the girls of sharing mommy's and daddy's time. Adjustment for daddy sharing mommy with another demanding little man. But in spite of this "interruption" of our lives, we had extra reason to be thankful this thanksgiving holiday.

We know that Timothy's story could have ended quite differently. It was only the grace of God that allowed our son to live, when so many had to say goodbye. A friend gave us a present for Timothy that had a card that said, "Children are a blessing from the Lord..." on the inside it read, "remember that at 3:30am!" He was and still is God's child. Timothy is now, as we call him, "fat and happy" as this picture shows. He is outgrowing his newborn clothes and moving into 3 months size. He is now beginning to smile and coo. Melody almost had him giggling this morning.

I just wanted to make a short post to once again, thank everyone for their prayers. We look forward to seeing in what way Timothy's story will be for God's glory!

Time flies...

It is amazing that Timothy was born two weeks ago today. So much has happened since that day, and we are settling into a new routine of nighttime feedings and all that you should come to expect with the addition of a newborn to your household. And yet, there is a richness of enjoying even the more trying parts of parenting a newborn-- given the previous week's experiences.

Funny, too often, it takes a trauma or a near miss to stop and count the blessings. I pray that today you will hug a friend's neck more closely, play a game with your child. Snuggle with your spouse. Sing more fervently in church.

Regardless what "mundane" tasks you may have today, I pray that you will enjoy even the challenges all the more. They are all a gift form God. Have a blessed day!

Be it ever so humble...

We are all finally home together. It has been a long week filled with tears and joy. Thank you again for the innumerable prayers that we lifted up. What an awesome legacy, Timothy already has!