Thirteen...

Thirteen. You are thirteen. Thirteen is one of those milestones that I think can be overrated. It represents so many things.  For many parents, the transition into the teenage years means, inherent rebellion, one year closer to higher insurance rates, busy schedules and smelly rooms.  For you, thirteen may mean more freedom and more privileges.  Thirteen, however, is simply another year of transitions.  

For you, you body is changing.  You are much taller, and you are losing the little boy face you once had.  You want more freedom that comes with getting closer to manhood, but you also still want to play with toys. Becoming a teenager in Biblical times typically was accompanied with getting married and starting a career alongside your dad.  Regardless of whatever cultural baggage comes with becoming a teenager, it really comes down to this.  You are in a time of transition that will last several years.  

You will change SO much over the next 5 to 10 years.  That is both exciting and terrifying, but just take a breath.  God's not done with you yet... even when you leave those teen years behind.  Your story is still in the first chapter.  One of my favorite quotes gives me great peace, I pray it will come to do the same for you.  John Newton once said, “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am” 

Your teenage years is really all about discovering the man God is creating you to be... answering the most important question, "WHO AM I?"  You will try things and fail.  You will be challenged and be victorious.  That doesn't define who you are.  You are not who I say you are.  You are not who your friends say you are.  You are not even who you think you are.  You are who GOD says you are.  The next several years it is your task to figure that out and learn to walk in that identity.  Jesus had the benefit of knowing who He was from the beginning, and yet He still had to grow and mature.

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." - Luke 2:52

Once you realize who God says you are, then you can begin to answer the next big life question, "WHY AM I HERE?" But that is for another time and another blog entry.  Until then, grow in wisdom and stature, my son.  You can do this.  I love you, I'm proud of you.

Metamorphosis

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52)

Last year I saw your rebirth.  You went from being my son, to also being my brother in Christ.  It has been so amazing watching you grow into your new identity in Christ.  Like you dad, who is a sinner, it hasn't always been easy nor perfect-- nor will it.  Thankfully, God's process of growing us into the image of His son Jesus (sanctification) is ongoing.  As it has been with me, so it will go with you.  I am just thankful to have a front row seat of God's work in you and through you.

Next year, you will join the ranks of teenagers.  But for now, you hold on to one more year as a pre-teen.  Nevertheless, this is a year of metamorphosis.  We see metamorphosis all around us-- the transformation from one thing into another. If you look back at all the images attached to this blog, you can glimpse at the metamorphosis you have undergone.  

God gives us opportunities to prepare as much as we can for these changes.  This weekend, you and I will have a special getaway to explore God's design for manhood. I want to be the example of what a real man is supposed to be, but I fear that often you saw more my failures. There is so much I wish I could teach you, but I was never taught.  But I hope you saw in me my own journey pursue the most manly man there is... Christ.  The world shouts lies about what it means to be a man.  The world and sin distorts God's image. I pray that this weekend gives you some tools to navigate the lies to avoid that I never had.

Tim, you live in a world that is constantly changing and trying to squeeze you into its mold.  However, because you have experienced God's mercy, like Paul, I plead with you to "...not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..."  As a dad, I have tried to teach you God's Word because I know the best example of what it means to be a man is Jesus.  Like your dad, you haven't always walked in step with the Spirit, but you are learning to hear and march to the Lord's cadence.  Your march will look different than mine, but my prayer is that, like Christ, you will increase in wisdom and stature and in the favor with God and man.  Always look to Christ.  Learn to listen for His cadence, so that you will keep in step with Him.  You were created in His image.  I am proud of who are becoming.  Stay the course.  

Happy 12th Birthday!

I don't like you very much...

Today you turn 11.  This year began a new chapter in our lives as I left teaching public school and I returned to ministry.  This past year has been difficult for you and I.   While we finally left a season of life that I haven't been there for you like I wanted.  Painful ministry experiences, school, COVID, teaching, etc. took me away.  Some of it could have been done differently, much of it was beyond our control.  As a result, we've butted heads a lot in recent months.  Things came to a head, and it was time to talk.  As we talked at length a couple weeks ago on the trampoline, I had to share with you that I don't like you very much right now.

You have experienced much disappointment and developed some unreasonable expectations of me.  Without the regular guiding presence, you have established some poor habits and attitudes.  As a result, I have been more critical and frustrated with you, and I am sure, you haven't liked me much either.  There's been a lot of discipline lately.  But as I told you that evening, that doesn't change the fact that I will never stop loving you.  But "love" is different from "like."  Enjoying the presence (liking) of someone we love will be affected by circumstances and we withdraw from them, but when you love someone, you are committed to stick it out through the hard times.  

BUT... It hasn't been all bad!  There have been fishing trips, water park getaways with just you and I, soccer games, playing catch in the backyard, tickles, wrestles and snuggles on the couch watching movies.  Even better, after years of teaching and guiding toward Christ, you trusted Christ to be your Savior and I got to baptize you this year.  Now the discipleship begins!  With it will come more training aka discipline.  Discipline is hard sometimes and it is often unpleasant.  Those times you may not like me, and I may not like you.  Discipline chips away at the parts of our character to shape us into the image of Christ.

"9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." - Heb. 12:9–11.

I love you and I am SO PROUD OF YOU!  Happy Birthday!

Dealing with Disappointment

Ten… You are ten… one decade… so much has changed in ten years.  What happened to nine! One thing you might have noticed is that I did not write a post for #9.  Year number nine was a hard year for everyone, but definitely for our family.  Year nine was a year of major transition.  We moved to Abilene, we bought our first house, I started teaching, then suddenly had to change school campuses.  I was thrust into working with kids at a disciplinary school, all the while learning how to be a teacher during a world-wide pandemic.  It was not what we had expected or planned.  But we survived.  

 

Here we are in year 10 and you are growing up fast.  You are no longer a little boy.  You are a big boy soon to be a young man.  By this time in your life, you have known quite a few disappointments.  Disappointments come when we have plans in our minds that don’t come through.  Sometimes we have good intentions, sometimes our intentions are simply self-serving.  Regardless, what we have planned doesn’t always work out as we want.  I think therein lies the problem.  God may have other plans that take us in a different direction.  Because you are my son, I know that when things don’t work out, you get upset.  Some things don’t work out because you planned foolishly.  Some times, things don’t work out because others failed to follow through with what they committed to.  But most times, things do go as we plan because God has other plans.  God’s way are always better and higher than our ways. (cf. Is. 55:8).

 

Remember this, people will disappoint you… even the ones you love the most will disappoint you.  But, you too will disappoint others.  Lean into Christ.  He is the One that will never disappoint you.  

 

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” - Proverbs 16:9

 

Tim, use your time wisely.  Make good decisions with your time and money.  Live within your means so you can give the most important ones in your life the best of your time.  Make good Bible guided plans.  But more importantly, stay tuned to what God desires for you.  They may not always line up with your plan, but they’ll always take you down the path that will build you up and glorify God.  I have cried so many tears wishing I was a better daddy, wishing I could have been there more for you.  My plans seldom worked out perfectly, but I know that God's plans will work out perfectly.  If you let Him guide you, you will NEVER be disappointed. 

 

I don’t say it enough.  I am proud of what I see you growing in to and I love you so much.  Happy 10th Birthday.

Proud Moments vs. Pride Moments

We got the call that we needed to go to the pep-rally this week.  You would be honored in front of the whole school as the "Buffalo of the Month." Out of all the Cross Plains Elementary school, you stood out as a student because of your hard work and courteous behavior toward teachers and other students.  As a new student, you stuck out.  

As you grow and develop, you will begin to excel in specific ways.  Maybe your "thing" will be academics.  Maybe you will shine as an athlete or maybe as a musician.  Only time will tell. Regardless, I believe God will gift you, but not so that you may receive glory for your accomplishments; rather, so you may deflect glory to Him.  Make no mistake, as followers of Christ, we are called to stick out but for different reasons.  I was so proud of you because you are putting into practice the areas of character that we have imparted to you.  But I also must be careful to think that while we've work long and hard to raise you well,  it is the grace of God that allows it to take hold.  We cannot really take credit for what God does in and through you.  

As you advance and work hard, be careful not to love the lime light when you achieve great things.  It can be a dangerous thing.  Fame and glory for self-gratification comes at a high cost, just watch those who attain it.  Do what you do and do it with excellence.  But do not do it to receive a pat on the back from others, rather excel so that GOD looks good.  In a world that fight and claws its way to the top, you will be tempted to love the praise of men.  When you are, remember this little proverb, "the higher a baboon climbs, the more he shows his rump!"  Work hard, excel, achieve.  But do so to please only one... His opinion is the one that matters. I love you and am proud of you!

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Gal. 1:10

Me and My Shadow

Well, you've hit mile marker 7 today.  We've tried bricks and other heavy objects and even tying you to the ground with rope and a few stakes, but you have refused... you kept on growing!  You've learned so much this year: how to ride a bike without training wheels; how to grow a garden together; to love reading and many other things.  It's been an amazing year, and I am so proud of you!

There's one thing I have noticed about you this year; you've really become my shadow.  There's a really old song called "Me and My Shadow," that describes a guy's strange relationship with his shadow.  He's all alone in life except for his shadow.  He describes how his shadow goes everywhere with him and does everything with him.  Everywhere I go, you want to go.  Everything I do, you want to do.  Like this photo, you are acting silly like your daddy.  If I mess with your sisters, you want to do it too.  At the end of the worship service, when I go to the back of the auditorium to say goodbye to folks, you're right there with me.  Perhaps if God lets you be a daddy, you'll get to know how much all that means to me.

I haven't always done things right, in fact, I've made quite a few big mistakes.  As you have shadowed me so much this year, I realized one of all parents greatest fears is that you would make some of the same tragic choices I've made.  But my prayer is that you would shadow me as I shadow my heavenly Father.  To go where He wants you to go, to do what He wants you to do.  To love being with the heavenly Father much more than being with me, your earthly Father.

One day, I know you will become you're own man.  Hopefully, you will have a little shadow of your own, and hopefully you will carry on the good stuff I modeled for you and not the bad stuff: a love for the Word of God, a love for your wife, and a love for serving others.  You may not become a pastor, and that's ok.  God has made you for His purposes.  Search it out and discover what that is and shadow the heavenly Father and you will do fine.  I love you Buddy.  Happy 7th Birthday!

"So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise." - John 5:19

Assets

My the the years have flown by.  Today, you've turned 6 years old, and I am just as proud and filled with joy for you today as I ever have been.  My son, you have been such a blessing to me.

As you know, as a vocation, for the bulk of my life, I have chosen to work as a servant to a local church, and thus far, it has been in small churches.  As a result, I have earned a modest wage to support my family.  We are not poor, but we have done without many things.  You've had toys to play with, clothes to wear, comfortable beds to sleep in, and like this photo shows, we've gotten to do a few neat things like play soccer, take trips to visit friends and make memories as a family.

I guess, by the world's standards, I am a failure because I know when my life ends, I will not have many tangible assets to leave with you and your sisters.  Our wills and portfolios will not be filled with things that you and your siblings will fight over.

However, I want to point out a couple assets that your mother and I have worked very hard to provide you that can never be locked in a bank vault or measured by the Dow-Jones Industrial average.  Things like your name; a work ethic that is others-focused; a foundation in God's word and the Gospel on which to build a relationship with God; memories of times together as a family.  These are the assets that I pray one day will yield dividends that will be reinvested in your own children and grandchildren, should God bless you in that way.  I cannot make you follow Jesus, but I pray that in our examples, both the good and bad ones, you will know the richness that comes from walking with your heavenly Father.  That when God calls you to Himself, you will respond appropriately and follow Jesus with all your heart, soul mind and strength in ways that far surpass your earthly father.

One of the many assets, however, that God has endowed you with is shown here in this photo... your two older sisters.  You annoy one another often.  Occasionally, you say hurtful and cruel things to one another; and yet, you need to know that your sisters love you deeply.  They play such an integral part of your life.  I have been so proud to watch them give of themselves because of that deep love.  God-willing, they will be there for you long after your mother and I are gone.  Don't forget to thank God regularly for your sisters.  They are one of your best assets.  Love them and take care of one another.

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." - 1 Timothy 5:8

Happy Birthday little Buddy!

You hurt my feelings yesterday...

It wasn't permanent.  You'd soon be five and you really didn't understand how or why you did it, but it still stung.  Your mother was having a friend over for lunch yesterday, and I wanted to bless you both by giving her some needed uninterrupted mommy time and getting alone with you.  So, I made time in my schedule to take you to lunch while I was running an errand.  I was just going to stop by Lowe's to pick something up, and when I announced my intentions, you withdrew from me and wanted to stay home with your mommy.  You thought we were going grocery shopping, which you hate.  You just misunderstood me.

My schedule is always full, but I try to be intentional about spending alone time with each of you.  When we do, there is seldom pomp and circumstance, nothing fancy, no weekend trips in the mountains to hunt and fish.  It's usually ordinary and mundane.  Not every time we get together there has to be something significant to do, sometimes it's the simple things.  "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  That's what Deuteronomy 6:7 says.  I was walking "by the way" and had an opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with my son over a bean burrito... your favorite!  But you didn't want to come, and it hurt my feelings.

I have learned that sometimes your children will hurt you.  It is inevitable.  The same way that I know it is inevitable that I will hurt my kids.  This has not been our first go round in wounding each other.  Did I cancel your birthday celebration?  Did I ground you to your room for a week?  No.  When I got home, I put your birthday present together.  That is called "grace," getting what you did not earn.  You wounded me and I loved you in return.  While I do not alway model it in perfectly, I want you to know of God's grace that he demonstrated to each of us by demonstrating it to you.  Today, is your fifth birthday, and you are getting a basketball hoop!  It's something you have wanted for a while, and today you will get it.  I look forward to many hours as a family playing together.

Timothy, I pray for you regularly that you would one day understand that, even though we often misunderstand God's plans for us and wound Him with our sinful attitude and heart, He still longs to lavish His love on us and spend time one-on-one with us.  I pray that you will know and Jesus had to died a cruel death on a cross to make that possible.  I pray that one day soon, you will receive the free gift God has for you.  I believe when He saved you five years ago, he set you apart for something special... for His Glory.  Until that day, I forgive you son.  I love you.  Happy Birthday.

A Blessing from the Lord

This time about four years ago, I was pastoring in a small church in the mission field of Vermont.  We had been preparing to welcome our 3^rd child into our family and into the world.  As is the custom, we had received a series of gifts and cards congratulating us on our new addition.  One such card came from a friend and local pastor.  The outside of the card in all of its piety declared, “Children are a blessing from the Lord…” (cf. Psalm 127:3)

 

How appropriate an exhortation from a brother in Christ!  Only, when I opened that card the inside caption continued “…remember that at 3am!”  Since Tim would be our third, I knew full well what that meant… or at least I thought I did!

As most of you know, (if not, you can read in the previous posts of this now annual blog) shortly after receiving that card, we made a late night trip to the hospital that would begin one of the most challenging weeks of my life. 

Today, Timothy is four, happy and healthy.  Because he is a boy, he is ever so different from his older sisters.  He is head-strong, physical and active.  As such, he has tested our patience exponentially more and his character is much more resistant to guidance.  In those moments, I forget the years before when we almost lost him and his momma.  We forget that he is still a blessing from the Lord.  Instead, I long for the blessing of obedience and compliance and a more frequent lower volume.  I see that God has wired him for leadership, but first he must learn to follow and frankly he doesn’t want to follow.  He wants to be in charge.

Timothy, my prayers for you this year is that you would have a daddy that will be constantly reminded that in the midst of the of the frustrating battle of wills, I will remember that God blessed us with you, and that I will be a blessing to you.  Thank you Father for yet another year with my son.

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thes. 5:18 (ESV)

Three Years and Counting!

This morning around 6am, I was finishing up my quiet time. Jill by this time has joined me and in walks my oldest. Still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she asks Jill, "Do you remember what you were doing three years ago?"  That insightful question immediately transported both of us back to Barre, Vermont just an hour past having just broken a record for the world fastest labor and delivery.

We had no idea was in store for us the coming days, we were exhausted, Jill was finally able to get a few winks of sleep and I was cradling my new son in my arms. As with all of my children, by this time I had already changed his first diaper... the black tar one!  I am running through my head all the things I longed to do with him that I never got to do with my dad. (play ball, build with blocks, go fishing, etc.) but more than anything I longed for the day when I would start teaching Him about Jesus.

My dream for him was not that he would be rich and famous or any of that stuff for which the world clamors, rather that he would be a man of God... that he would love his wife as Christ loved the church... that he would be a disciple-maker.  Each one of my children have thus far lived up to their name-sake.  Tim's name means, "honoring/glorifying God." I continue to pray that he would live up to his name sake.  It is my job as his father to teach him about Christ.  To model for him what a godly man strives for, both in my successes and failures.  The weight of the responsibility that I carry as my kids' dad is heavy, but I know only by His strength I will finish this race.

Timothy my prayer for you is that one day you will get to read this blog and look back on from where you came and give glory to God.  That He would mark your heart as His own, and you would one day, through the trials and testings that each year brings, grow in the wisdom and stature of the Lord. This morning out family devotion was very fitting and it is the verse I give to you today, "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen." - 2 Peter 3:18

Happy Third Birthday Timo!
Your Daddy loves you so much!

Second Time Around

It seems a distant memory now the cool October morning two years ago today when Timothy first showed his face into our lives.  As I sit here this early morning, I hear my son stirring in the other room.  He is struggling now with his two year molars coming in.  He has not teethed well these last two years.  With this struggle comes much whining and complaining.  He is proving daily more and more that he is my son.  For like his father, when pressure and pain is introduced into his life, he does not stop and reflect the great pleasures that will come with a mouth full of teeth.  He has not been pleasant to live with as he makes sure all of us know he is in pain.  But the industrial lubricant that drips from his lips and is tracked everywhere in the house serves as a constant reminder of good things to come but that are not yet.

I cannot help but think of how often when I am challenged with pain and discomfort my gaze is not fixed on the long term benefit that suffering brings.  Instead, my focus are prayers that God would make it stop because I have not yet learned the lesson of suffering.  I have not yet learned to say with my ancient brother James that I consider it pure joy when I suffer various trials. (cf. James 1:2)  I have not come to the place where, knowing the goodness of my Father's heart, my first response is to look toward the steadfastness that comes as a result of suffering.

I think it was Corrie Ten Boon that, in her old age, when experiencing pain got to the point of praying, "Father, please don't let me waste this suffering!"  She understood, more than most, the value of pain in life and the growth that it brings.  A dear friend of mine who struggled with chronic back pain once told me that pain and suffering will either make you better or bitter.  Far too often, the latter is my first response.  But thankful, my patient Father lovingly teaches me that just as His only Son endured unfathomable suffering, he did so for the benefit of my fellowship with my heavenly Father.

So, as I consider the future turmoil in these uncertain days which will no doubt bring much pain and challenge, my prayer this morning  for my son's second birthday is that I may teach him to suffer well and that will do this by example...

"Thank you Father for the blessing of another year with my son.  May he grow to trust you by the trust he sees in me when you bring hard times into my life."

Happy Second Birthday Timo, my little big man!

Happy Birthday, Little-Big Man!

It is hard to believe that one year ago today, we started a harrowing journey and test of our faith.  About this time one year ago, Timothy popped out in his own time and said howdy to the world.  He is now big and healthy.

We were going to change his name to "paper weight," but have decided that "snail" seems to fit better given the slime-trail of drool he leaves behind him wherever he goes.  He is not-so-little anymore.  What started out as an underweight boy struggling for life, is now a healthy, strapping big boy a little ahead of the curve.

This year has shown us why birthin' babies is for the young.  I praise God for the wisdom and perspective that comes from being an older than most father, but I sure wish I had the stamina that I did only a few years ago.  Timothy has stretched us mentally and physically and we stay in the land of weariness most of the time.

He is very different from his sisters.  Even from birth, I could tell he was all boy: louder, more active, tougher, more head-strong and demanding.  And over the past year, I have caught myself getting frustrated, as most parents do, with my little-big man who is not so little any more.   The Holy Spirit reminds me of what different direction things could have taken.  God has blessed us with one full year to enjoy with Timothy.  When so many on birthdays grieve that their precious ones are in the arms of the Father and must wait to see them.

Today I will glorify my God and Savior.  His gift of my son has changed my life for the better.  Even when there have been, and will be, days that I was not quick to count my blessings.  I pray that you will join me in doing so as well.  I looked back and read my blog this morning as well as Psalm 34 that carried me through one of the hardest weeks of my life.  In the light of the weeks to come with many challenges and new tests of faith in light of our upcoming move back to Texas, here is the verse God gave me today.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
(Psalm 34:19 ESV)

You've come a long way baby!

This week marks 8 weeks since Timothy was born. His body was frail and weak. He was on medication to help him overcome infection that could have taken his life.

The past weeks have been filled with adjustment. Adjustment to lack of sleep for us due to nighttime feedings. Adjustment for the girls of sharing mommy's and daddy's time. Adjustment for daddy sharing mommy with another demanding little man. But in spite of this "interruption" of our lives, we had extra reason to be thankful this thanksgiving holiday.

We know that Timothy's story could have ended quite differently. It was only the grace of God that allowed our son to live, when so many had to say goodbye. A friend gave us a present for Timothy that had a card that said, "Children are a blessing from the Lord..." on the inside it read, "remember that at 3:30am!" He was and still is God's child. Timothy is now, as we call him, "fat and happy" as this picture shows. He is outgrowing his newborn clothes and moving into 3 months size. He is now beginning to smile and coo. Melody almost had him giggling this morning.

I just wanted to make a short post to once again, thank everyone for their prayers. We look forward to seeing in what way Timothy's story will be for God's glory!

Time flies...

It is amazing that Timothy was born two weeks ago today. So much has happened since that day, and we are settling into a new routine of nighttime feedings and all that you should come to expect with the addition of a newborn to your household. And yet, there is a richness of enjoying even the more trying parts of parenting a newborn-- given the previous week's experiences.

Funny, too often, it takes a trauma or a near miss to stop and count the blessings. I pray that today you will hug a friend's neck more closely, play a game with your child. Snuggle with your spouse. Sing more fervently in church.

Regardless what "mundane" tasks you may have today, I pray that you will enjoy even the challenges all the more. They are all a gift form God. Have a blessed day!

Be it ever so humble...

We are all finally home together. It has been a long week filled with tears and joy. Thank you again for the innumerable prayers that we lifted up. What an awesome legacy, Timothy already has!

It's Official!

We are heading home today! We'll jump thru' their hoops and then load up. God is so awesome!

Psalm 34:2,

²My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the humble hear and be glad.

Rejoice with us friends and family to declare the glory of God. May TImothy's story always be to God's glory.

Nearing the End...

Timothy should have his "supposed" last dose of antibiotics tonight. Tomorrow they will check his levels. If they are acceptable, as they have been improving since we started, they shall be coming home tomorrow. Life in the hospital zone is different, much like the twilight zone, you can expect one thing and things can change. But we are hopeful that tomorrow (Friday) will be the day we all get to come home. The last two days have been boring days... I must say I have come to appreciate boring days... I have had enough excitement to last me a year! So, since there isn't much new to report, I tho't I'd post a couple recent pics.

Perspectives, pt. 2 - Thurs, Morning

Monday evening, as I drove home for the first time, I realized that something had happened while I had spent those days in the hospital rooms. The much anticipated Vermont fall foliage change finally happened. The day I came home was the peak of the colors. I was overcome by the brilliance of the colors as they stood in contrast to the dull pastels I had experienced in the hospital. My perspective had changed. My world had been limited by what I was seeing, but the reality was the world around me was filled with a vibrant explosion of color.

One week ago, I was looking into the eyes of my newborn son for the first time. My eyes were filled with joy, and I had no idea of the testing that I was about to see. This morning, the Lord brought me to the second part of what He is teaching me about perspectives. Psalm 34:5-7 says,

5Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD^(L) encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.

As I read this section, I noticed what is so instrumental in the life of the Christian. The walk of faith. David states that the those who exercise their faith, "look to Him..." are radiant. That is present tense, looking intently. They can look right now because of the times they had cried out in times past and the Lord "heard" them and they had been rescued. They realize that the Lord is encamped around them, because as I mentioned yesterday God's perspective doesn't change. He is always watching over us.

All too often, there is much misunderstanding about the walk of faith. Walking in faith is not believing something hard enough to make it happen. The walk of faith involves knowing God's faithfulness in the past and knowing His constant character of goodness, gives us confidence to cling to future hope in Him for the present trials. Sometimes this past week, I did great in remembering this, other times, I didn't fare so well. Fortunately, the body of Christ was around me when I was weakening and reminded me of God's faithfulness.

As we look down the path, we can see the finish line of this race in sight. I pray that I will remember that just because this race may come to an end, that I will not forget that this race is also training for the next one. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying.

Jumped the gun...

Jill has been discharged as of 7pm, but they are not quite done with Timothy. So, it still looks like Friday morning is what they are shooting for, which is still earlier than we tho't. Oh well, better safe than sorry.